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The Fruit is on the Other Foot
Author: Gerry McDonnellI like to think of myself as a chilled individual. Admittedly, Im not as laid back as the wife, but thats a result of her lifestyle.
Being cool, silent and occasionally collected, Ive been stunned by the overreaction to the minor disagreement during the Carling Cup final. The term handbags is an outrageous exaggeration; the wife throws more punches on a Sunday afternoon when I try to dislodge her from the mattress.
The sending off of Adebayor was particularly perplexing. Emmanuel appeared innocent, yet was punished severely; which coincidentally was the plot of the DVD i watched after the match. Im getting stuck into the 8/15 for an Arsenal win over Reading.
Im beginning to worry about the wifes sister. Her infatuation with me is almost certainly a result of deeply rooted psychological problems brought on by low self-esteem. Sweet. Im not passing up the chance to get on Wigan at 3/1 to beat Manchester City.
The Beatles may have told the world that money cant but you love; but Wayne Rooney found the flaw in that romantic fallacy. The word on the street is that Wayne is set to marry Coleen, and the street individuals are certainly in the loop. Im romantically involved with the 7/4 about Liverpool denting Manchester Uniteds title charge.
We all have our little quirks, except for Birds of a Feather. The wifes sister has a foot fetish; I originally thought she was just pulling my leg. Im dipping my toes into the 9/4 for a draw between Fulham and Aston Villa.
Unlike the wifes sister, Middlesbrough have only tasted defeat on one occasion this year. You must back the Boro at 11/4 to win at Newcastle; im putting my foot down.
Andy Johnson is never far from a diving controversy. The miniature hitman had the finger pointed at him again last week, which was more than enough for him to tumble to the ground. Sheffield United can take a point off the Toffeemen at an unsteady 9/4.
Frank Lampard should feel ashamed of himself for squaring up to little Cesc Fabregas. Lamps could have picked on somebody his own size; but in all fairness, Pauline Quirke was rehearsing for a musical. Chelsea can turn over Pompey at a mammoth 3/5.
The last five matches between Bolton and Blackburn have either been goalless or settled by a single strike; this is a genuine clash of the tight-uns. Im jumping on the 17/2 for no goalscorer like it was a Russian tennis player. Preferably not Davydenko.
Theres an air of impending doom surrounding Alan Curbishley and West Ham. They say its never over until the lady of a fuller figure breaks into song; Birds of a Feather, the musical opens on Sunday evening. Spurs can hammer another nail into the Curbs coffin at 13/10.
The wifes mother has asked to proofread my weekly betting preview to ensure that Im not making any cheap digs at her expense. No matter how much she pleads; shes not getting her hands on my column. Charlton can hold their survival dreams alive with a win at the Vicarage at 9/5.
Frank Lampard is not happy with this weeks accumulator. Apparently, its so mouthwatering; hes struggling to concentrate on the upcoming ruck with Pauline Quirke. Last weeks accer obliged at 25/1; Arsenal, Charlton, Chelsea and Tottenham will follow suit at a beefy 15/1.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/online-gambling-articles/the-fruit-is-on-the-other-foot-111659.html
About the Author:Gerry McDonnell is a professional odds compiler, journalist and rescuer of small orphans.
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Keywords:
into wifes