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A Primate of Fear
Author: Gerry McDonnellDiscrimination is abhorrent in any form. I would never judge a person purely on their looks; Ive copped off with many a minger.
If a person is victimised on the grounds of race, sexual orientation or religious beliefs, condemnation is rightfully swift; yet poking fun at individuals with amusingly coloured hair appears to be tolerated.
I have a dream that one day all gingers will be free from oppression. When Paul Scholes and Steve Sidwell shake hands at Old Trafford, my utopian vision will be one step closer to becoming a reality.
The result of the match is insignificant; its all about acceptance for our sun-fearing brothers. I will be getting on Manchester United to beat Reading at 1/3, but Ill be going in gingerly.
Thierry Henry could learn a lot from Ronaldo. Where the skinny winger will tumble with grace and elegance at the mere hint of a challenge, the Frenchman attempts the far more difficult flailing-armed bag of potatoes manoeuvre, without an opponent in a 45 yard radius. Its back to the training ground for the worthy man. Im head over heels about an Arsenal win over Blackburn at 4/9.
Jonathan Woodgate has suffered yet another injury. The jinxed defender has been sidelined with a tight hamstring; he probably picked it up in Scotland. Middlesbrough receive the nod at home to West Brom at a rickety 4/5.
My cash was also down on the Boro in midweek. When Yakubu fluffed that penalty, I actually screamed like the wife when she gave birth to Goliath. The evil one still has miserable memories of that day; he was delivered during opening hours. The Yak remains a quality animal, hell score the first goal at 9/2.
Little Goliath is definitely his mothers son. He gave me two choices; I could either purchase him a pet monkey, or hed tell his mom about my special friendship with her sister. Bubbles has set me back a small fortune. I intend to recoup a portion by backing Chelsea at 1/7 to see off Norwich.
For some reason, Bubbles goes absolutely ballistic if Goliath watches Soccer AM. Last Saturday, I had to spank him three times while Helen Chamberlain was on screen. Norwich could well be on the end of a spanking at the Bridge; the champions can net four or more goals at 15/8.
You have to like Ian Holloway. The jovial nutcase once compared a scrappy win to pulling an ugly bird; and was kind enough not to mention the wife by name. Derby will end Plymouths race at 8/5.
Watford are definitely improving, but I cant fancy them at odds on against a competent Ipswich. Like David Cameron in college, Im going to get stuck into the draw at 5/2.
Tottenham are like the wifes sister on a Wednesday afternoon, theyre in the middle of a sticky patch. The 17/10 for a Fulham win over Spurs stands out like Martin Jols lower jaw.
Most individuals have been involved in the odd incident that they regret; I should never have raised my hands to that monkey. Joey Bartons list of previous includes a holiday rumble, a far from enchanting full moon and a controversial take on cigar disposal. Preston are smoking in the Championship; they can extinguish Manchester Citys FA cup dream at 17/10.
Barton allegedly waved his middle finger in the direction of Pompey fans last week, presumably answering the How many brothers have you got in prison question. I fancy Preston to sneak this 1-0; Im all over the 7/1 like a Manchester City player on Pedro Mendes.
Using only the weekend accer as a character guide, a representative of PETA has cleared me of any wrongdoing in regard to my monkey training. Id like to thank the former Celtic man for this generous gesture. Chelsea, Middlesbrough, Preston and Fulham are the selections, the payout is a beastly 11/1.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/online-gambling-articles/a-primate-of-fear-105335.html
About the Author:Gerry McDonnell is a professional odds compiler, journalist and rescuer of small orphans.
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